Unwell
by RWhitewings
Summary: AH/OC Bella needs therapy and Doctor Cullen tries to unravel why she is the way she is. But he realises his son Edward is involved. what will happen when Bella figures out that he's hidden it from her? Read and find out.
1. Unwell

**AN: This i think is going to be by far my favourite story. i hope you like it as much as i enjoy writing it. Unwell (by Matchbox Twenty) is a perfect song for this story. i promise you this one will be full of suprises. **

**:D**

Unwell

All day  
Staring at the ceiling  
Making friends with shadows on my wall  
All night  
Hearing voices telling me  
That I should get some sleep  
Because tomorrow might be good for something  
Hold on  
I'm feeling like I'm headed for a  
Breakdown  
I don't know why  
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell  
I know, right now you can't tell  
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see  
A different side of me  
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired  
I know, right now you don't care  
But soon enough you're gonna think of me  
And how I used to be  
Me  
Talking to myself in public  
Dodging glances on the train  
I know  
I know they've all been talking 'bout me  
I can hear them whisper  
And it makes me think there must be something wrong  
With me  
Out of all the hours thinking  
Somehow  
I've lost my mind  
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell  
I know, right now you can't tell  
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see  
A different side of me  
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired  
I know right now you don't care  
But soon enough you're gonna think of me  
And how I used to be  
I been talking in my sleep  
Pretty soon they'll come to get me  
Yeah, they're taking me away  
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell  
I know, right now you can't tell  
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see  
A different side of me  
I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired  
I know, right now you don't care  
But soon enough you're gonna think of me  
And how I used to be  
Hey, how I used to be  
How I used to be, yeah  
Well I'm just a little unwell  
How I used to be  
How I used to be

(Unwell- Matchbox 20)

It was the same as always. In this small cramped room, just me, Doctor Cullen and the spider that never moved on the ceiling. It was a huge spider; I mean an acrophobia's worst nightmare just sitting motionless up there. I tried not to stare at it. I mean if you'd come into this office for treatment of acrophobia you have exposure therapy right there and then.

Of course I'm just rambling about the spider to avoid the real issue here. To be fair though it is the biggest spider I had ever seen in my life. It made me grateful that I don't mind spiders else I would freak out.

"Miss Swan I know that the spider has you transfixed but we're wasting time here, now I get paid for sitting here writing notes but you don't get paid for been bored . I'm not the one losing out here" said Doc Cullen locking my eyes with his.

Maybe Doctor Cullen was like that spider up there just patiently waiting for me to get caught up in his web. He knew I'd break at some point after all I'd volunteered for this the only thing was I wasn't too comfortable with actually putting it into practise. The whole prying into my personal thoughts and feelings just to 'fix' me just didn't appeal to me.

I had to do this though to show him I could be great all on my own. That I was just fantastic and I didn't need his help with my 'problem'. That it didn't hurt that he didn't know I existed anymore. The hole in my chest threatened to rip me up again. I fought against it knowing what I must do.

"So where do we start?" I asked Doctor Cullen leaning back onto the comfy arm chair.

"Let's start with the moment that stands out the most to you, where you met this person who made you feel better for a while?" he said.

So I began my story about a girl named Bella (Me) and a boy named Edward who changed her life forever.

**AN: Sorry it's short but it's only an intro. i put the full song up because it's pretty much the core ofthe story. Please read and review and i will love you for it i'm gonig to try and reply to every review 4 this story depending how many i end up with lol.**


	2. Dare You To Move

**AN: Thank you for all the support on the first chapter. this one might be a little boring but it is essensial to the story line so bare with me. After i post this im going to respond to my lovely comments on the first chapter. Thank You x  
**

Dare You To Move

Welcome to the planet

Welcome to existence

Everyone's here

Everyone's here

Everybody's watching you now

Everybody waits for you now

What happens next?

What happens next?

I dare you to move

I dare you to move

I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor

I dare you to move

I dare you to move

Like today never happened

Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout

Welcome to resistance

The tension is here

The tension is here

Between who you are and who you could be

Between how it is and how it should be

I dare you to move

I dare you to move

I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor

I dare you to move

I dare you to move

Like today never happened

Today never happened

Maybe redemption has stories to tell

Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell

Where can you run to escape from yourself?

Where you gonna go?

Where you gonna go?

Salvation is here

I dare you to move

I dare you to move

I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor

I dare you to move

I dare you to move

Like today never happened

Today never happened

Today never happened

Today never happened before

(Dare You To Move – Switchfoot)

It started in an unusual way. It was just before a maths exam, I'm usually the calm one. I don't panic about exams I can't see the point. It was kind of ironic that I panicked for this particular exam. I taken it before and got a B on it. It was my stupid over ambitious want of an A that had drove me to retake the exam.

I was completely calm almost...

I think it must have been seeing all those people I knew around me, so close to me, I didn't have much room to move. Then there was the thought of been stuck in a room for two hours and not been able to leave. I felt trapped.

All the colour drained from my face as I began to panic I'm not the kind of person you cage. I tried to distract myself by watching people. My eyes watched the masses trying to avoid thinking at all until my eyes locked with another's.

I knew him, of course I did we'd had tutor period with each other for the last four years. His name was Edward Masen and he was usually quiet kept to himself and his friends mostly. In all the years we'd known each other and had to spend time in the same room as each other he'd never said a word to me.

Now there was something in his dark green eyes, they were calling out for help. I could see he was trying to contain himself but he looked a wreck. We both stood there for a moment eyes locked through the crowds as if time had stopped to allow us to interpret this moment.

He was leaning against the wall opposite, breathing heavily his fists clenched against his side. He winced in pain and the moment broke. Suddenly I was aware of my own breathing.

"Bella, what's wrong?" asked Rosalie putting her hand out to steady.

"I think she's hyperventilating. Should we slap her?" I just about saw Rosalie glare at Alice for that suggestion.

Then I fainted my heart racing fearfully in my chest.

The next thing I became aware of was a wet paper towel pressed to me head. Schools seem to think the answer to everything is a wet paper towel, a cup of tea and some biscuits. Except I only got the paper towel.

I spoke to soon my vision cleared to see a cup of tea and some biscuits sitting on a table in front of me. I glared at them weakly. I was aware of the sound of someone breathing sharply in and out. I turned my head slowly to look at Edward.

He was doubled over in the chair fists bunched against his chest I could swear I could almost hear the hammering of his heart from hear. Maybe that was my own heart?

I'd never seen anyone have a heart attack or anything like that but I think it looked pretty much how Edward did then. I was scared again but for some reason I was scared for his life – a person I hardly knew. He didn't strike me as the kind of person who would make a big deal out of nothing.

I didn't know much about him though, only his name, the fact he went out with Tanya Dixon who is also in our form. She's an alright girl. Also that he'd hit puberty before most boys and looked about twenty but he was one of those people I'd never really paid attention to. Until then...

"So was this when you had your first attack?" asked Doctor Cullen asked interrupting my story.

"Yes" I said simply.

Then he nodded eager for me to continue.

At some point Edward's brother Jasper came to join us in our little corner of woe. He was in the sixth form and he always walked around with an acoustic guitar strapped to his back. His blonde hair was always a mess but it somehow looked good on him. Alice had a secret crush on him that she'd never admit to – but I know all.

He stared from me to his brother as if pondering over how of all the people that could have got stuck here it was me and him. Jasper leaned down next to Edward's ear and whispered to him. Then he pulled out his mobile and spoke calmly to the person on the other side. I couldn't hear much because felt dizzy and Jasper always spoke very softly like he was afraid of startling people.

Then strangely he approached me, probably because despite his brothers condition there wasn't much he could do. Jasper never panicked he was always ultra cool.

I can imagine was he saw then, my small shaking from breathing heavily, tears streaming down my face. I must have looked a horrifying state.

"I've called the ambulance for Edward" he said as if knowing some of the problem was my surprising concern for Edward.

"Do you think you can sit the exam?" he asked me.

My eyes passed over to Edward. He was kind of a lazy student, I knew he had the brains but he'd never put them into practice and now he wouldn't get to sit his exam. Something stirred within me, someone had to sit this exam. I tried to calm myself closing my eyes I concentrated on the sound of Edward's uneven breathing. I wanted to help him, but sitting here panicking wasn't helping anyone. I knew that what was going on with Edward was more serious than it appeared he probably thought he was going to die now.

And there was me panicking over a silly little exam surely I was made of better stuff than this. Maybe if I can stand up to my fears Edward can get through this as well. I just had to find a little strength.

I opened my eyes and wiped away my tears with my cardigan and combed through my hair with my hands putting it up into a high ponytail.

"I'm going to do it" I said to Jasper standing up a little wobbly.

I walked forward a little then fell, I dusted myself off.

"Ignore that " I said quietly more to myself than anyone.

I crouched down in front of Edward to look into his eyes they were scared but fierce. His fingers now twitched where he held the chair. I placed my hand lightly on top of his.

"Stay strong" I whispered not sure whether he heard.

Then I hobbled off to my exam leaning against walls for support.

Two hours later I had finished the exam and the minute I did I knew somehow Edward was ok. Then for some reason I went home and completely forgot about it. Yet I know now it's a memory I'm going to hold on to forever because that was the day everything started.

AN:Please review :D reviews make me write quicker :P


	3. Answered Questions

**Right let me explain a few things which have understandably condused people. **

**I live in England so i have been using the English school system as my basis but for all my American and otherwise readers i shall explain a few things. **

**School starts when you are either 3/4 depending what time of the year you were born, if you were born in September you would be one of the eldest in your class if you were born in August the youngest. **

**You start of in Primary School**

**Primary school is spilt into 2 halfs. **

**Infants and Juniors **

**Infants consists of these years**

**Nursery - 3/4 yrs  
Reception-4/5 yrs  
Year 1 - 5/6 yrs  
Year 2 - 6/7  
**** you can see the pattern. **

**Juniours goes from ages 7- 11 up to Year 6. **

**After year 6 you go on to high school. **

**years 7 - 8 are just basic teaching.**

**Year 9 we do tests called SATS which determin how well we might do on exams called GCSE's in years 10 and 11. **

**In year 10 you may take some GCSE's a year early ( most courses take 2 years to complete but there are some that do a course in one year like Bella does when she takes her maths exam in year 10 . the exam she takes in chapter 2 is taken in year 11 because she desires a better grade. Retakes can be taken providing the learner is still in a school or college which is a venue for the exam and is considered an appropriate candidate for them exam. in some cases a student may be withdrawn from an exam if it seems unlikely that they will pass because it costs schools money to entre them) GCSE's consist of core subjects (science, maths, english, a language ) and two of your own choice. **

**after year 11 students may leave school, they can get a job, or go to college or they may stay on at Sixth Form which is Post -16 education held in High School. Since it is opptional most Sixth Formers are no longer required to where uniform at school at this point.  
in Sixth from there are many different routes of education, but most people take A Levels.  
Sixth Form lasts 2 years but some students stay for another year or so to retake exams or to obtain more A levels, as usually only 4 A levels can be taken at a time. A levels have no core subjects you can choose your own providing they fit your time table and meet certain requirements of the course.**

**boring school talk over any further questions please feel free to ask **


	4. Cannonball

**AN: Sorry took me so long to write this chapter please review :D**

Cannonball

there's still a little bit of your taste in my mouth  
there's still a little bit of you laced with my doubt  
it's still a little hard to say what's going on

there's still a little bit of your ghost your witness  
there's still a little bit of your face i haven't kissed  
you step a little closer each day  
that I can´t say what´s going on

stones taught me to fly  
love, it taught me to lie  
life, it taught me to die  
so it's not hard to fall  
when you float like a cannonball

there's still a little bit of your song in my ear  
there's still a little bit of your words i long to hear  
you step a little closer to me  
so close that I can´t see what´s going on

stones taught me to fly  
love taught me to lie  
life taught me to die  
'cos its not hard to fall,  
and I don't want to scare her  
its not hard to fall  
and i don't want to lose  
its not hard to grow  
when you know that you just don't know

stones taught me to fly  
love taught me to lie  
life taught me to die  
so its not hard to fall  
when you float like a cannon.

stones taught me to fly  
love taught me to cry  
so come on courage, teach me to be shy  
'cos its not hard to fall,  
when you float like a cannon

(Cannonball – Damien Rice)

Dr Cullen stared at me from across the table, our time was over and he had another appointment soon so I had to go. I was waiting for him to say something important like he knew where on earth my problem came from but instead he just looked at me.

" Well our time is up now Miss Swan but I'd like to continue this convocation tomorrow" he said with a pleasant smile.

I sighed and stood up "See you later Doc" I muttered .

"Bye spider" I said waving to the spider.

Unfortunately for Doctor Cullen he'd just taken a gulp of his coffee when I said that. So when he suddenly laughed he managed to make a mess. Obviously no one had ever addressed the spider before.

I grinned to myself as I exited the room, whilst Doctor Cullen attempted to clean himself up.

On my way out I ran into someone and fell on my rear with a heavy thud.

"Hey girl watch yourself there, wouldn't want you to damage your body as well as your head" said a familiar irritating voice.

"Emmett" I growled.

A large had grabbed my hand and lifted me up like I was a feather. I glared up at him as he stared at me ... the eldest brother of Edward.

Of course they were all adopted but I'd never met their parents but I'd met all the brothers. Emmett was in year 13 as he was currently retaking a year after taking time of last year because of personal reasons. So now he was in the same year as Jasper, and I was in the year below them. I couldn't avoid them anymore, but Edward had decided to go to college instead.

His name pieced through me reawakening a whole in my chest that I tried to block out. I shook myself walking past Emmett not stopping to ask why on earth he was stalking me to my doctors. I sighed as I stumbled out the practice.

Then pulled my stress ball out of my pocket and therapeutically started to squeeze it. This is what happens when I talk about Edward I just get very angry. Once upon a time I was a very calm, patient person who never got angry that was until now.

I threw the red ball with a happy face on it on the floor. It bounced down across the road just as a lorry pass it barely missed the wheel. I rolled my eyes no way was I going after it I had a whole load at home. Although that one was my favourite. I didn't wait to see where it had gone i ran to catch the bus and left it behind me hoping it would find a less troubled owner.

...

Edward

I waited patiently to cross the road glaring at all the infuriating traffic. Something hit my foot softly I looked down and raised an eyebrow. At my feet sat a bright red stress ball with an irritatingly happy face on it. How it mocked me.

I picked it up staring at it in wonder. Who had this belonged to and how had it managed to get across that road without becoming a happy pancake. It was small in my fist I could see the faint marks left my nails. This had belonged to a girl. I thought about someone then and I don't know why it had made me think of her. I tried to keep her out of my mind after all it was the only way of keeping her out of my life.

I must stop pushing people away I thought as I crossed the now safe road to my Dad's practise. I strolled in smiling politely to the staff which all knew me. At least they thought they did. No one really knows me but sometimes people like to think they do.

I saw Emmett and sighed I was hoping to avoid my brothers today. My brother glared at me strangely then said something.

"Sometimes Edward I wish you'd just realise how lucky you are when you have something because one day it's going to hit you. And it will be too late" he said.

I stood a little shocked where had this come from and what on earth was he referring to? He didn't wait for me to respond he walked away from me and headed for home. There is certainly never a dull moment in the house of Cullen's.

My Mum must have got of work early today because when I entered my Dad's office she was there. I was quiet for a moment watching, he was sitting down at his laptop and she was in his lap as they looked something with excitement on the screen. Their faces were alight with beaming smiles; I noticed there hand were woven together on Mum's stomach. So that explained a few unanswered questions. Like why she had been looking so attentively at baby clothes recently.

I was filled with a bubble of happiness. I was going to be a big brother, I couldn't tell Jasper or Emmett yet because obviously they were keeping it from us until they felt the time was right. But I was dying to share this happy news with someone.

Again that someone appeared in my mind, her careful understanding face that she held whenever she listened to me talk. I shoved it out of my head and made a cleared my throat letting my parents know I was here.

"Edward!" said my mother delightedly as my Dad clicked something off on the computer grinning.

We greeted each other with a hug I smiled breathing in that comforting Mum smell; soap and faintly ginger.

"Angela went home early today so I have the rest of the day off" she told me happily.

Esme was a translator for the deaf or mute, Angela was a deaf girl that went to my old high school. My mum worked with her at the school so she could understand her lessons and such. My mum loved been able to help people and she helped Lucy since she was in primary school.

There she was again I thought about her still in that school, did she ever notice my Mum she'd never met her and we weren't blood related so she wouldn't know. Once again I dismissed the thoughts.

"Why'd Angela have to go home early?" I asked.

"oh it's nothing serious, she was just feeling a little unwell I think she missed her new friend" she said her voice tender at the marvel of this friend.

Angela found it hard to make friends because people didn't understand her or thought she was weird. Some where even intimidated by her. Also everything someone said to her had to go through my Mum which people felt uncomfortable with.

I wondered who this person was that had the confidence and bravery to make friends with someone who was different from them.

I didn't ask I supposed I'd meet them eventually as we often took Angela places with us. I sat in the office for a while just talking with my parents about daily things. No one asked me certain questions that used to come up. I was trying to appear as though all the trouble had passed now. In reality it had I had a girlfriend Jessica and college was going well. Just something was missing.

Maybe it was my friend said a traitorous thought.

Its in the past I told myself and there are something's you just can't go back to. I had decided to change my life and she had been part of it and I had to let it go. I was a different person anyway I wouldn't be the one she was so fond of.

I remembered one particular convocation we had shared.

"We share a very close bond don't we" she said in one particular convocation we had over msn.

"Yeah one of the closest I've ever had" I told her truthfully.

"me too"

"were like brother and sister" I said.

I could imagine her smile when I said that and the blush.

"I got to goL"

"okL bye ily little Sis J"

"lol goodbye ily big BroJ"

I shook of the memory she was better off without someone like me in her life. I hadn't asked her though I was avoiding her she was too distracting and confusing I didn't need that – did i?

I stopped questioning myself I made the right choice and I'm sticking with it.


	5. Sorry

**AN: So like this chapter title im sorry for not updating since forever. this chapter is basically filling you in on edwards and bellas relationship before the therapy. enjoy and please please review!**

* * *

Sorry  
(by Maria Mena)

Vague sound of rain  
pierces through my song again  
but I get distracted by the way his toes move when he plays  
so I let it burn

I just poured my heart out  
there's bits of it on the floor  
And I take what's left of it and rinse it under cold water  
And call him up for more

And I say baby, yes I feel stupid to call you, but I'm lonely  
And I don't think you meant it when you said you couldn't love me  
And I thought maybe if I kissed the way you do, you'd feel it too

He said I'm sorry  
so sorry  
I'm sorry  
so sorry

He grabs my wrists  
as my fingers turn into angry fists  
and I wisper why can't you love me, I'll change for you  
I'll play the part

And I say baby, so I feel stupid to call you, but I'm lonely  
And I don't think you meant it when you said you couldn't love me  
And I thought maybe if I kissed the way you do, you'd feel it too

He said I'm sorry  
so sorry  
I'm sorry  
I am sorry

Bella

I waited in anticipation tapping my fingers against the desk, Alice and Rosalie stared at me with curiosity.

"What's up with you?" ask Rosalie a coy smile on her face.

I didn't want them to do their interrogation thing on me, I wanted to keep this to myself. my phone buzzed on the table, Alice sprung for it to see the caller ID but I was faster.

"hello" I answered then stuck my tongue out at Alice.

She pouted and Rose looked like she was plotting an evil plan to get me to spill.

"Hey there how are you?" asked the velvet voice.

"I'm good actually how about you?" I said making an exit.

"I'm alright Bells I'm on the way back from college now, would you like me to pick you up?" he said sounding exhausted.

"if you want to" I said trying to sound cool.

Secretly I was dying for a chance to see him so far we'd only seen each other through web cams.

"you really want me to really" he said cheekily.

"Maybe it's you that really wants to" I replied blushing.

"I really want to see you Bella, I got to go now see you in a bit" he sounded sad.

He had said it so seriously that my heart was pounding.

"me too, see you soon" I replied

"Bye" he said

"Bye"

I ended the call and grinned happily. I was going to see him! Soon! I was practically buzzing with excitement. I buzzed back into the common room where Alice and Rosalie were waiting expectantly. How long could I escape telling them about Edward?

Half an hour later I was rushing out the school reception to meet Edward. I didn't see him at first but then someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned to face him in all his glory. The cold winter light showed of all the bronze of his hair and the perfection of his skin. I felt inferior.

I was so nervous I forgot how to speak.

"Well hi there" I said tucking a lock of brown behind my ear.

I lapped him up with my eyes I knew that he'd be leaving in just a month. I would miss him terrible but the promise of continuing our friendship kept me strong. He was moving abroad to join his father's side of the family in America.

Tanya had broken up with him and it had been a rough ride for him. I'd been the shoulder to cry and now we were practically best friends. We walked side by side hands shoved into coat pockets in order to prevent frost bite.

I was flustered been in his presence and didn't pay attention to where I was walking. I walked out into the road and was quickly pulled back. A car speed past by heart raced, I was not sure whether that was because of my near death experience or the fact I was so close to Edward. His arm was round my waist, I could feel his breath against my ear and my back was against his chest.

"Saved your life now you owe me one" I could hear the grin in his voice.

He untangled himself from me and ruffled my hair.

"you should watch where you're going" he said.

"yeah, thanks" I said trying to calm my heart.

"you're a divvy sometimes Bella" he said with a chuckle.

I frowned at him and he smiled warmly but behind the smile I could see the sadness still in his eyes. Why was he always so sad?

We tried having a few awkward convocations but kept plummeting into silence. Soon we came to my house and I said goodbye. I was just about to cross the road to my door when he pulled me into a warm hug.

"Bye Bella" he said and released me all too soon.

As he walked away I stood in shock my cheeks burning. I skipped over to my house with the biggest grin on my face. Maybe he likes me too I thought. I shook it off quickly I'm just like a little sister to him.

Maybe someday...

"I was very insecure back then. He made me feel wanted" I admitted to Doc Cullen after my account.

"Do you feel that way now?" he asked.

" it's a lot worse, I feel ugly. I don't think anyone will ever really want me but I don't really think I could deal with a relationship" I told him wishing the chair would swallow me.

I'd been coming for about 3 months now and steadily I was able to cope with my claustrophobia but my self esteem was going nowhere.

I think Doctor Cullen was at a loss as to what to do with me.

" what hurts the most?" he asked.

"He gave me hope" I said

"Hope?"

Edward had said we couldn't be more than friends because he would be leaving. I had accepted that and so we just stayed friends. Sometimes he would say things about how no matter what he'd always be there for me. That distance wouldn't change a thing.

I'd told him I loved him and he had said that he didn't mind.

He had made promises about he'd always want me in his life.

"3 months left" I said looking up at him from my book.

He was sat on my sofa with music sheets in front of him. I'd stretched my legs across his lap as I lay on the sofa. He looked at me with that bright and happy look he always had when we spoke about this.

I wished I could share his enthusiasm but it was painful for me to think of a life without him.

"I know I can't wait" he said cheerfully.

I hid my face behind my book so he couldn't see the hurt in my eyes.

"hey what you hiding behind there Bells?" he said cheekily.

"nothing you'd want to see" I muttered sinking deeper into Wuthering Heights.

He leaned over the top of me causing my heart to go wild. He reached down and delicately picked up the end of my long brown. He brought it close to his nose and breathed in the scent.

"Are you sure about that?" he voice was rough velvet.

My heart stopped as he brought it to his lips.

"yeah you won't miss it" I whispered.

"you're wrong I will Bella, you know I'll come back to get my little Bella" he said leaning closer.

His hands were either side of me.

"Promise me" I said scowling over my book.

"I promise" he said his eyes smouldering.

"prove it" I said raising my pinky finger up .

He didn't say anything he just removed the book from my face then joined my pinky with his. Then without warning his lips were on mine. It may have lasted minutes or forever I'm not really sure all I know is that I'd never felt so alive.

All too soon he pulled back and looked at me for a long time.

" I mean it Bells" he said then went back to his music sheets.

I went back to my book and we didn't speak of it again.

A week later he stopped talking to me.

"I'll never love anyone again the way I loved him" I told Doctor Cullen.

I was unable to stay in the room any longer not now he knew everything . I stood up and pulled my hood over my face heading for the exit running smack bang into Edward


	6. Time Of Your Life

**AN: Thank you so much for the review last time as a result heres another chapter. Please review again :)  
**

**"Time Of Your Life"**

**(By Simon Webbe)**

You say, you've got all you'd ever want  
Then how come you're  
Demanding everything  
A little more from everyone  
You're always  
Turning all my rights to wrongs  
With the bitter words you're whispering  
I see we've come undone, well

There's something wrong about it  
Your life's too over crowded  
I'm tired of giving it all  
And taking the fall, I Guess

I'm wasting your time, baby  
If something within you  
Can't be satisfied  
Then Get up, Get out, Give In, oh if  
I'm cramping your style, lately  
If something is greener on the other side  
Then go on, and have  
The time of your life

Shameful, always treated me the same  
Twisting every little circumstance  
In to your gain  
Resentful, gone too far to give a damn  
All those things that did belong to me  
Keep 'em like you planned, well

There's no two ways about it  
My life's too short for shouting  
I'm tired of giving it all  
And taking the fall, I guess

_[Chorus]_

Ain't no reason in me holding you down  
So move on baby, and someone else  
proud, because...

There's no two ways about it  
My life's too short for shouting  
I'm tired of giving it all  
And taking the fall, I guess

Awkward... Anyone want to shout it out because thats what this moment personifies. Well at least he's alive, I thought. I mean I hadn't heard of him in so long I was starting to wonder.

Why was I so angry?

"hi Bella" he said.

I stood there just thinking about my possible responses

_"hi"  
"I hate you"_

_" I love you"_

_"you're a jerk" _

_"oh so you are alive then here was me thinking you'd fell off the end of the earth"_

My thinking left an awkward silence.

"What are you doing here?" I said.

Well that works I guess.

"Uh, this is my Dad's practise" he said.

Someone somewhere is laughing at me and my sad little reality show of a life. I turned to glare at Doctor Cullen who must have taken great joy in listening to his son's antics. Then looked back at Edward.

"Bye" I said

Then I darted off out the building before I did something stupid. Like punch someone. I went straight to a place where I knew I could just spill my heart out and get angry; Angela's.

Angela and I had made friends soon after the 'Edward incident'. She was in the year below me but I'd often noticed she spent a lot of time alone or with a beautiful women. I don't know what made me approach her but soon she became one of my best friends. Alice and Rosalie had grown distant since I'd started having therapy and Angela had just stood out to me.

Of course I soon realised that Angela couldn't hear or speak but Esme her translator helped. Surprisingly I was a quick learner and it did not take me long before I was fluent in sign language.

I'd never gone to Angela's house before but I knew where it was. I came to her house and stared at the rather daunting building. Angela's family was wealthy and they certainly knew how to show it.

I rang the bell and wondered what good that would do if Angela was home alone. Alas I needn't have worried because the door opened soon after.

Angela stood at the door a smile on her face.

A: Bella I'm so happy to see you come in.

I stepped into the threshold and removed my shoes in the door way. Angela placed them underneath the coat rack in the entrance hall.

B:Thanks, I need to tell you something

A: Oh dear. Do I need the Ben and Jerry's?

B: I think you might.

She smiled at me and hooked her arm through mine. Me and Angela were the masters of not needing to say anything we could communicate well without it. She guided me to her oversized kitchen and opened up the freezer.

She grabbed our two favourite flavours, then busied about the kitchen grabbing more snacks. She passed some over to me then nodded for me to follow her. She took me up the stairs and down a corridor to her room.

Her room was huge with an ensuite bathroom. She had a huge for posted bed with beautiful purple curtains, her whole room was like that of a modern princess. A very tasteful princess.

She flopped down on her sofa and unloaded the food on the table in front of it. Then she patted the seat next to her for me to sit down. I mimicked her action grabbing my ice cream and handing Angela hers.

Angela grinned picking up a big bowl that she'd smuggled up somewhere and began to unload the ice cream into the bowl so we could share.

B: You're a genious

A: Yes I am now unload and eat women but try and do it so I can understand the spoon may make he hard.

She did that really cute silent laugh of hers. Angela could talk but she didn't like doing it because she said her voice isn't pleasant to the ears.

So between scoops of ice crème I told her what had happened.

A: I cannot believe the Doctor was his Dad, what's his last name?

B: Carlisle Cullen

A:You must be joking! That's Esme's husband, she told me she had adopted kids but I didn't think they attended our school.

B: The stupid plot thickens

A: Your life is a bad soap. So what are you going to do about it?

B: what do you mean?

A: Bells this is a sign, you should finally act instead of moping around like you have been

B: Act how I'm angry Angel I don't want him back I want him to regret ditching me

A: Hallelujah, finally there you go you know what you want to do now how you going to do it.

B: You tell me I don't know

A: your going to show him what he's missed on.

B: Which is?

A: A beautiful, intelligent young woman who has to beat men away with a stick.

B: Who is this woman we speak of?

A: You. Once I'm finished with you.

B: Have you swapped personalities with Alice and Rosalie?

A: I assure you, you will enjoy this experience.

B: I'm not sure.

A: You will be as for tonight you're stopping over. No arguments we'll pop over your house get your stuff and have a girly night.

Angela looked so excited I think she'd never had a friend overnight before. I let her drag me out to her little purple Mini Cooper, then to my house where I grabbed my stuff and told Charlie I'd be home in the morning. Then it was back to her house to play meet your friends family.

Her Dad was a super rich owner of a computer software company. Her mother was a fashion designer. They were warm and open. They welcomed me like a second daughter, Angela's little brothers filled the evening with delightful jokes.

I noticed that there was an extra seat but didn't ask about it, maybe Angela had another sibling. After dinner Angela and I sat on her bed discussing the upcoming torture.

Angela had plans scary plans that she wanted to put into place over the weekend. S.O.S. Think positive thoughts I told myself. We fell asleep on Angela's bed after a evening of laughter and girl time.

The next morning I awoke to find Angela had already jumped ahead of me into her shower. I needed to pee so I decided to use the family bathroom down the hall. I hadn't thought about the fact I was in my P.J's; my eeyore P.J's.

I roamed sleepily down the corridor. This house was almost silent making other sounds louder: the ones that were usually forgotten. Breathing , footsteps, humming, and my ears went so deep I could even hear my heartbeat. I wished I could share this with Angela who had been thrown into the world of silence all too young.

One moment! Where did I get humming? I wasn't humming. ..

I suddenly entered the real world again to see a guy in a towel. A very hot guy in a towel. He sat on the window seat under the huge stain glass window at the top of the stairs. The morning sun glistened subtly over his sculpted muscles. His eyes were closed as he listened to music that only he could hear. His hair was light brown with natural blonde highlights. His face was an angelic picture of serenity.

I was witness to an angel; an angel in my best friend's house. Then he turned his head a looked at me, up and down in those stupid . Swallow me ground, just do it!

He grinned like I was going something amusing . Well I was turning into a red stop sign with all this blushing.

"Hello? Are you ok?" he asked his voice deep and sexy.

"Bathroom" I managed.

Great I sound like a five year old asking where I can pee.

"right there Little One" he said pointing to the door.

"thanks" I said striding swiftly over to the door.

After locking the door and going for that much sought after pee. I reminded myself I am such an idiot. I looked in the mirror and saw that my hair was a mess, my face was blotchy and I was in those p.j's.

I was so worried he be out there waiting to laugh at me when I came out. Luckily he'd vanished. Maybe I'd imagined him. What would Doctor Cullen make of hallucinations?

I crept back to Angela's room where she was now all dressed and ready.

A:where you been?

B: I had a close encounter with an angel on my way to pee, and I acted like an idiot.

A: I see you've met my brother Gabriel, don't worry he'll find you entertaining.

B:That's a good thing?

A:Definately. now wash and dress today I transform you

Someone help me!

AN: Gabriel is actually a character from twilight who will be revealed in the next chapter. i made his first name his middle name . and changed his first name. Can you guess who?


	7. Rise

**AN: For Caww, thank you x**

Rise  
(By Gabrielle)

I know that it's over  
But I can't believe we're through  
They said that time's a healer  
And I'm better without you  
It's gonna take time I know  
But I'll get over you  
[Chorus:]  
Look at my life  
Look at my heart  
I have seen them fall apart  
Now I'm ready to rise again  
Look at my hopes  
Look at my dreams  
I'm building bridges from these scenes  
Now I'm ready to rise again

Caught up in my thinking, yeah  
Like a prisoner in my mind  
You pose so many questions  
But the truth was hard to find  
I better think twice I know  
That I'll get over you

[Chorus]

Much time has passed between us  
Do you still think of me at all?  
My world of broken promises  
Now you won't catch me when I fall

Today is dooms day. I changed into some of Angela's clothes and went to join her down the stairs for breakfast.

He was there... Gabriel and I was the retard from this morning. Why do I care anyway? He's just some stupid boy.

"Moring sunshine" he said as I approached the table.

"Morning" I muttered wondering why I was suddenly an object to be teased.

Angela raised an eyebrow at her brother; Angela was very good at lip reading. I was really hungry so breakfast didn't last long I was like a lion.

"Wow you can almost eat as much as Angela" stated Gabriel with an grin.

He received a smack over the head from Angela's spoon much to my amusement.

A:You ready to shop Bella?

B:Not really but I don't have a choice do i?

A:None what so ever, by the way Gabriel is coming.

B:What!

A:Don't argue it will be fun.

"It certainly will" said Gabriel from across the table.

Oh Boy! I feel so emotionally drained. After been bundled into the car with the two of them then to the mall I'd prepared myself mentally.

First thing Angela did was drag me to the hairdressers I had no say in what happened to my hair Angela and Gabriel did. I see why Gabriel had come he served as a voice for his sister so I couldn't argue with the changes Angela made.

Soon my hair had been washed, cut and blow dried. I stared at the pile of hair on the floor with fear then looked up to see what was left. Oh my...

Wow! My hair fell in almost sexy waves round my face it looked amazing. I had to hand it to Angela she knew what to do.

A:Before you even think of paying ,I am. Just deal with it. Call it a belated Birthday present.

I didn't want to argue I didn't think I could afford it anyway.

"onward to the wardrobe revamp" declared Gabriel offering me a hand up out of the seat.

I got up by myself I wasn't falling for chivalry again. As I did I suddenly realised how tall he was and felt small. I ignored the gloomy feeling and remembered why I was here. To make Edward feel like a sorry ass.

We went from the hairdressers round a million stores, I got to choose most of my wardrobe. I just picked out things that I'd always wanted to wear but never had the confidence to. My brand new blue coat for example hugged a lot tighter than my shabby old brown one.

By the end of the day I felt gorgeous. My arm laced through Angela's as I beamed.

"Hey don't I get some love" Said Gabriel linking his arm through mine.

I frowned at him.

"oh come on let's at least try and be friends Bella give me a break" he said.

"Ok " I said.

A: Gabriel James Webber, stop hassling the girl.

I giggled and the rest followed.

Friendship that's where it starts then it goes south. I know who gets destroyed in the process . I didn't need to careful though Gabriel would never be interested me.

Finally we went home and collapsed in front of the T.V to watch a film. We changed into PJ's and I lay my head on Angela's lap. Gabriel came to join up lifting my legs up and placing them on his lap I stared sleepily at him and he smiled at me.

"You can change your hair and your clothes Bella but I still think you look as beautiful as you did this morning when I saw you in your PJ's" he said quietly.

I smiled at him and closed my eyes too tired to keep them open any longer. Today I went to sleep a little stronger than before. Tomorrow I would rise again just a little braver.

AN: Please Review 3 Sorry it's a bit short. Oh yeah did you know it was James? Hehe i know what your thinking where on earth is she going with this. Just you wait and see. 


	8. Over You

**AN: Please review thank you xxx**

**Over You**

**(By Daughtry)**

Now that it's all said and done,  
I can't believe you were the one  
To build me up and tear me down,  
Like an old abandoned house.  
What you said when you left  
Just left me cold and out of breath.  
I fell too far, was in way too deep.  
Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming.  
I should've started running  
A long, long time ago.  
And I never thought I'd doubt you,  
I'm better off without you  
More than you, more than you know.  
I'm slowly getting closure.  
I guess it's really over.  
I'm finally getting better.  
And now I'm picking up the pieces.  
I'm spending all of these years  
Putting my heart back together.  
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,  
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,  
Dragged the memories down the hall,  
Packed your bags and walked away.  
There was nothing I could say.  
And when you slammed the front door shut,  
A lot of others opened up,  
So did my eyes so I could see  
That you never were the best for me.

Well, I never saw it coming.  
I should've started running  
A long, long time ago.  
And I never thought I'd doubt you,  
I'm better off without you  
More than you, more than you know.  
I'm slowly getting closure.  
I guess it's really over.  
I'm finally getting better.  
And now I'm picking up the pieces.  
I'm spending all of these years  
Putting my heart back together.  
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,  
I got over you.

Well, I never saw it coming.  
I should've started running  
A long, long time ago.  
And I never thought I'd doubt you,  
I'm better off without you  
More than you, more than you know.

Well, I never saw it coming.  
I should've started running  
A long, long time ago.  
And I never thought I'd doubt you,  
I'm better off without you  
More than you, more than you know.  
I'm slowly getting closure.  
I guess it's really over.  
I'm finally getting better.  
And now I'm picking up the pieces.  
I'm spending all of these years  
Putting my heart back together.  
Well I'm putting my heart back together,  
'Cause I got over you.  
Well I got over you.  
I got over you.  
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,  
I got over you.

I woke up on the sofa and Angela and Gabriel were still there and asleep. The TV was still on and someone had tossed some blankets round us. I yawned quietly a slowly moved off the two of them. The sofa was an L shape Angela was lying on the one side of the L and Gabriel and I took up the bigger bit.

He was sleeping upright his head at a funny uncomfortable angle. He looked serene in sleeping his long eyelashes fanned out across his skin. I smiled I think he was growing on me which was certainly dangerous. I wriggled out from under the blanket hoping not to wake either of them.

I didn't succeed and Gabriel opened his eyes sleepily.

"Bella, what's up?" he mumbles rubbing his one eye in an adorable fashion.

"giving you two some room" I said with a small yawn.

He gave me a tired glare and tugged on my sleeve.

"stay" he said .

He reached down for a lever at the side of the sofa and his seat reclined back. He grabbed a pillow and put it on his stomach.

"here" he said stubbornly.

I was too tired to argue and found my way back into the mass of blankets to him. He was like the older brother I'd never had. I lay my head on the pillow and Gabriel wrapped the blankets round us.

"Goodnight Bella" he gently tugging on a lock of my hair.

I smiled then let out another little yawn.

"goodnight Gabriel" I said snuggling down.

I was awoken to someone gently stroking my hair and softly talking to me.

"Wake up time Bells, breakfast time" said Gabriel's voice.

I stretched out on the sofa and across Gabriel's lap with a big yawn. I opened my eyes to Gabriel's smirking face.

"I could watch you all day" he said and ruffled my hair then pushed me off his lap on to the soft blankets below.

"hey" I moaned.

He laughed at me "that was a Kodak moment"

I glared at him and stood up dizzily.

He put an arm out to steady me then pulled it away following his male nose to the kitchen.

"Ummm.... someone brought a snack" he purred.

I giggled and I followed him to find Angela was already in the kitchen, with a wide grin on her face cooking with her mother.

"Good morning kids" chimed Angela's mum.

"morning mom" both Gabriel and I chimed at the same time.

I don't know why but it only ever felt right to call Angela's mum, mum. Unlike my own mum who mainly got called Renee. After devouring a full English breakfast I got ready to go home for the week. I was reluctant I loved it here. Charlie was great but it was like having a house mate not a family.

I threw everything into the gym bag I'd brought everything in. Goodbye's were said by the door.

B: Bye Angela thank you for everything see you at school tomorrow.

A: Anytime Bella it was great.

"bye Mom bye Dad" I said with a giggle .

We had a collective hug.

"Come back soon Bella" said Mom.

"You won't be able to keep me away" I said cheekily.

Then it was time to say goodbye to Gabriel.

"Bye Bella, I hope I'll be seeing you soon because it's going to boring without you" he said.

He leaned forward and ruffled my hair then lightly kissed my forehead causing me to turn red.

"bye" I said a little shocked.

Then I walked to out the Charlie's car waving goodbye as we pulled away. I missed them all already.

Monday came too slowly I really wanted to see Angela and unleash the new me upon the world. I pulled on my leather knee high boots with the small heel. It was a rainy day so out came the purple umbrella and my new coat. I was wearing skinny jeans under the boots and a green dress jumper on top with a little tank top underneath.

As I arrived at school Angela ran up to meet me at the gate.

A:I have a surprise for you!

B:What!

A: you'll find out soon enough.

I sighed what on earth did she have in store for me now.

A:First I have to explain that Esme wanted some time off as she's finally pregnant so I needed a new translator .

B: ok so who is it?

She just grinned mischievously at me and pulled me into the common room. Where Gabriel stood leaning against the wall headphones in. All the girls were ogling at him; I felt oddly protective of him. He had his eyes closed as he listened which made me smile.

B: so now I have to put up with the both of you?

A: Yep the terrible twins.

B:Great!

Alice and Rosalie were with Emmett and Jasper. Ever since the boyfriends came along there hadn't been room for me the fifth wheel. It made me so glad I now had Angela and Gabriel.

"Hey Bells! Miss me?" he said when he saw me pulling out his headphones.

"no not at all" I smirked and sat down on the floor next to his feet for briefing.

Head of year moaned for about ten minutes before we could go to lessons. First lesson was art where Angela and I spent all our time making a mess and occasionally art. Alice was also in this lesson but she usually spent it with Jasper.

Angela was getting charcoal happy and I sketched a few things but to be honest felt lazy. Gabriel was occupied drawing a demented little cartoon. The male mind is disturbing.

He'd drawn a little creature standing in the rain. It was kind of cute really but just a little weird. He passed it over to me and I drew a person holding out an umbrella to the poor creature. Gabriel laughed and drew a little heart over the creatures head in a though bubble. I smiled and did the same on my little person.

B: how cute their friends

G: No secretly he fancies the pants of her

B: shame she doesn't see him that way

G: We really are bored here aren't we.

A: Certainly are, this is the longest hour ever.

Art ended and we had a free so we just lounged around the common room reading. Gabriel started a poking war which was so immature of him. Of course I rose to the challenge and kept poking him back in the ribs. It escalated until he was chasing me across the common room.

"No Gabriel don't!" I called at him.

I ran past Rosalie but only got about that far when Gabriel grabbed me and lifted me over his shoulder.

"Ha ha I have caught the wench" he laughed.

I tried to glare at him but I was in a difficult position. I tried kicking and screaming but Gabriel insisted on parading me round the common room.

Then he turned round and I was suddenly looking at Edward who was gawping at us from across the room.

"Gabriel! Put me down or feel the wrath of my boots" I threaten having to giggle at my own threat.

"I thought you were enjoying yourself up there " he said gently placing me on the floor.

"I feel sick now, too much spinning" I said falling forward a little.

Gabriel steadied me by gabbing my arms.

"Easy there girl" he said laughing.

Angela came over with a grin on her face.

A:I would pay for that kind of entertainment

I looked over at Edward who looked like he was going to kill someone. I didn't really care. What on earth was he doing here anyway?

"Angela my mother wanted to send you a note" said Edward coming over to us.

A: Tell him thank you.

"She say's thanks" said Gabriel

"Bella I don't even know who you are, what's happened to you?" Edward said.

"That's out of order" said Gabriel stepping in front of me.

"It's ok Gabriel" I said putting a hand on his arm. "I'm who I was always meant to be Edward, as far as I know I don't need you approval"

"Whatever Bella" said Edward stropping out the door.

A: You go girl

B:Thanks Angela can I have a hug.

Before Angela could get there Gabriel lifted me up into a bear hug. Angela joined in.

"Thank you" I said when Gabriel put me down.

B:You two are the best.

A: Always

G: I'm just too good

We both gave Gabriel a 'Yeah right!' look.

As we walked back to the table Gabriel caught my eye, he was looking at me as though he was seeing all of me; heart and soul. I blushed under his gaze. I shook it off. I can't fall not this time .


End file.
